A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned

My friend sent me this article a while back and said, "this is just soooo weird". A wealthy individual from Silicon Valley is being accused of stealing Lego sets from Target by replacing the barcode, with a home-made barcode sticker, enabling him to purchase the Lego sets at a very discounted rate. He further went on to sell the Lego sets on Ebay, making $30,000. "Was it compulsion, a desire to beat the system, or just pure greed" is the question pestering the public's mind. 

I am in no way endorsing this type of behavior, but if an individual was barely trying to make ends meet or in dire need money, this act would "make sense." In this situation, the individual was already wealthy on his own. Did he do it just to be rebellious? Do you ever get tired of always doing the "right" thing, and want to be rebellious also? What would you do? For whatever the intent was, there's a thing called "logic". Why would this individual jeopardize his current occupation, of which he makes much more than 30K, for Legos. Was he trying to prove a point? 

In the Spring, I started watching Switched at Birth on Netflix. [At the time, there were 22 episodes, each one being about 45 minutes each. I started watching it Friday evening and finished the entire season by Saturday afternoon. I took a small break to sleep, but other than that, I practically finished it all in one sitting.] ANYWAYS, in that show, there are two girls who are switched at birth. One of the families, is extremely wealthy and is suing the hospital for a multi-million dollar settlement. Not for the money, but mostly to prevent any such happenings in the future and to get an apology from the hospital. 

Suppose you were in their situation, would you sue the hospital and want an apology? Or would you think that you have enough money already, why waste time on a lawsuit? Having your child being switched at birth is quite severe, but think about a less drastic situation. Suppose you are extremely wealthy, would you still spend time calling your electric company because they over-charged you? Obviously, a number of factors would go into deciding this, but for the most part I do challenge discrepancies. Not for the money, not for free stuff, but sometimes I like to feel that I'm being treated well. And sometimes, the other side could be making an honest mistake, and they wouldn't know otherwise unless someone corrects them. Does this make sense? What would you do?

Weekend Before the (mini)Storm

The school that I attend has a midterm and a final exam which determines your grade in the class. There are other extremely minor grades along the way, but basically the bulk of your final grade are those two exams. I don't like it as much, because there is VERY little room of "messing up". I thrive with the consistent exams as the course progresses to test your mastery of the subjects and it forces you to keep up with the material.

One of the initial challenges faced with students is studying strategies. A common phrase to describe medical school is "drinking from a fire hose" with the amount of information that is thrown at you and that you must know. I also like to describe it with pancakes. You HAVE to eat six pancakes a day. For the first few days, you're really excited and it tastes delicious, so eating six is manageable. However, very soon (usually within the first couple of weeks) you realize you can't seem to digest six anymore. So one fine day, you decide you only want four. But that means the following day, you know have eight pancakes to eat. This describes lecture material. It's SO easy to get behind and once you're behind, it's a strenuous workout to get back on track.

I've kind of been battling staying on track with all my lectures, studying, and practice problems. Usually I'm only a couple lectures behind *knock on wood*, but then I'm struggling to find time to physically remember all that I'm supposed to. I feel like one day I know it, and even just few hours later it's already out the door. I've also been struggling to find my optimum studying style. I know I'm very visual so I try to  draw out my notes by making flow charts and diagrams - but more often than not, there's information that can't be placed in the diagram, and I just need to know it. Because there are a finite number of hours in a day, it's close to impossible to do absolutely everything you ideally would like to do. Prioritizing high-yield information is key. But, you don't want to be wrong =).

Since this is our first semester, we have sort of "mini-test" on Monday to test what we've learned thus far. It's worth about 6-7% of our entire grade, but it covers about a month's worth of information. Also, there are only three weeks between this mini-test and midterms, so there really isn't much of a wiggle room to catch up on previous material. There are so many things that I would have ideally like to have done by this point, but realistically won't get through. I was doing practice questions the other night and realized how little is ingrained into my tiny, little brain. I have four more lectures to catch up on, which I'm not too worried about - but it's all the essential details that I need to make sure I have down in two days. EEK!

Besides all of this, what really worries me daily - is the feeling of inadequacy. I know this is just the beginning, but I'm constantly afraid that I won't be able to know everything I'm supposed to, that I won't be able to do well on the exams, and that I won't be able to complete my dream of becoming a doctor.

But anyways, I'm trying to take a positive outlook this weekend. I can only do as much as I can do - can't really do much more than that. I'm hoping this mini-test will give me some insight of my current studying habits and how much information I can retain.

On a completely separate note, good luck to all the MS4s who are turning in their ERAS application this weekend. Congrats on making it this far and good luck on your interviews! I hope to be in your position soon =).

Change in Identity

I recently took a trip to my alma mater, which I had not seen ever since I graduated in May 2010. As soon I stepped off the plane and onto the floors of the airport, a brush of memories came into life. I made the same phone call to my mom, reassuring her that I arrived safely and I would call her after reaching my sorority. I took the same train back to campus. And, here’s the cherry on top, I stayed at the same sorority house I lived in during my junior & senior years of college. But this time, as a guest, not a resident. Rewind about two years, I was doing everything I would have been doing as a student, however you can’t go back in time and I wasn’t an undergrad student anymore.

During my time there, I visited many of my college friends, spent time at my common hang-out places, and tried a few new ones. I had an interesting conversation with FRIEND A, and how he declined a job offer out of state in fear of losing his identity & friends that he had created in college. And in a professional setting, it’s difficult to create or even have the same relationship with your co-workers that you have with your friends out of work. He was very involved in campus activities, so everyone practically knew him. It’s interesting that when you meet someone new, they have NO idea of your past (which could be a good or bad thing :-p), but sometimes we have certain expectations that they should know. How did you not know I like to dance? How did you not know I’m a vegetarian?

Just a couple weeks ago, we moved from the house that my brother and I had most of our life-changing events at and pretty much the only house my brother remembers living in. During this moving process, we would make several trips back to ‘old house’ to pick up odds & ends that the movers did not. And I would ALWAYS find a reason NOT to go. I couldn’t do it; it was just too painful. I couldn’t imagine how quickly a spot where my family shared a meal less than 24 hours ago has now become space; I couldn’t imagine how quickly a home became a house so quickly. This house represented so much more than a home, it was our identity. So in essence, I was doing the same thing as FRIEND A.

Yes, I resist change.

But actually, going to college out of state was a huge change (something I definitely wasn’t planning at all) – I was put into a completely new location, environment, and school. I didn’t know a single person in that state, let alone in the university. I left my identity back at home and maybe recreated the same one or grew on it. Additionally, I was fortunate enough to study abroad during college – but I didn’t know anyone. But part of that allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and do things light years ahead of my time, like act in a play! And while no one knew anything about me, I was able to experience something new. I think, part of the reason why experiences such as studying abroad are so refreshing, is it allows us to leave our identity behind and do something different.

It was a break from, being me.

FRIEND A eventually got a job in town and is doing his masters simultaneously. So maybe it was good that he stayed local, or maybe the move could have also been beneficial to him – I guess we’ll never know! It’s natural and often times easy to take the path of least resistance, but it’s not always the best path. Sometimes, maybe study abroad opportunities are thrown at us, or we’re thrown into situations we didn’t seek out that make us change. But as we get older, I think we need to consciously push ourselves to “grow”. I’m really going to miss the ‘old house’. But, I’m also looking forward to what this new house brings to my family. As I sit here, on the eve of my medical school career, I know I’m not going to be the same person four years down the road. And I’m extremely nervous, but very excited to learn a whole new world and make some amazing new friends. But most importantly, I’m excited to see how I change into the best doctor I can be for my future patients, which is the main reason for creating this blog! =) My identity is what I make of it, and I am going to continue to do things to where I’m always evolving.  

Embrace the Familiar

During my final weeks of college, my schedule was quite the contrary of being relaxed. I'm not sure if it was senioritis, the shear amount of deadlines that comes with 22 credit hours, or a combination of both, but I could not have been more excited to reach the finish line after that semester. One thing I found myself doing was having Wake Up Sid playing in the background with no explanation whatsoever. I really enjoyed the movie; it was cute, casual, and simple. I also wouldn't necessarily be actively watching it, but I'd just keep it playing as I completed lab reports, homework, or just general house dorm-keeping. And nights that I took off, I chose to Wake Up Sid, despite the hundreds of times it's been playing in the background.

I'll occasionally watch Wake Up Sid, even today. And every time I do, college memories transpire before me. Grade-school memories surface when I hear "Graduation," and yet those forms of media never get old. Why do we enjoy watching movies, TV Shows, and listening to the same song on repeat replay? True, there is a certain aura that appears. But, I think there's something more than nostalgia. What caused me to watch the same movie after a stressful day?

I believe there's a concept of familiarity that soothes us. The idea of watching a television show and not having to worry if it will be a good/bad episode, if it will make us happy/sad/frustrated/motivated is alleviating. By watching/hearing something you're familiar with, there's no element of surprise. And at the end of a stressful/long day, I think we could all enjoy some time to ourselves where we know what will happen and exactly how it will happen.

How ever choreographed we would like certain situations to be, life is full of surprises. Despite how hard we try to control situations, life has a way of working out that's beyond our control. And sometimes, it's the mystery under the tree that prompts us to keep unwrapping the presents, no matter how much tape or how strongly it is attached. So the rare moments when situations are choreographed, it's okay to embrace them.

The "Gray" Shades

Intuitively or not, whether we decide to press the snooze button one more time to staying up an extra five-minutes to watch a YouTube video, we are constantly making choices. Despite all promises made the previous night of waking up early to exercise, the only exercise I get in the morning is via my fingers... hitting the snooze button numerous times. I then take a relaxing, hot shower followed by a ritual ten-minute stare of my closet before ultimately wearing a college shirt and track pants. Everyday. True story. 

Some days I get lucky and the aforementioned decisions only affect me. But everyday is a new day, and I'm not so lucky. Without even realizing it, some of our everyday choices affect those around us. My mom and I recently spent some time at IKEA. When we first moved to Katy, my parents decided the best way to spend weekends were at furniture stores. My brother and I could run around, jump on beds, what more could a kid (or two) ask for :P! Some stores even had a kid-watch station so we wouldn't cause trouble stay occupied. Anyways, we loved going to IKEA, not just because of all their awesomeness, but also because they had amazing vegetarian lasagnas! And I truly mean amazing! So mommy and I were really excited about the amazing lunch we were about to have. However, we were dismayed to learn that they no longer served the lasagnas. And while we were trying to understand the vegetarian options, the servers had a horrible attitude. Ugh! Their unnecessary attitude completely ruined my excitement about lunch. Right as we were about to finish our meal, one of the IKEA workers was in such a positive mood, he instilled some of that positive energy into me, and I was a changed person. Just like that! 

Something as simple as smiling at a stranger or cutting an individual off on the road could drastically change someone's mood. In medicine, our choices hold ever more weight. A simple decision can lead to bring in a new life or ending one prematurely. Our words can tear a family apart or bring tears of joy. Our actions truly impact the life of our patient and everyone involved, whether we like it or not. Another important aspect is no matter how many books we read, how many years of experience we gain, there is no escaping the reality that we will not always be correct. Most of the time, there is no such thing as black and white - it's ALL GRAY. And I think that's why it's important to embrace each new day with a smile and positive attitude. It gives us the courage to move on, and influences others to do the same.